Are you waiting for things to change or are you taking control of your midlife transition?
It’s an interesting question and one worth considering.
The transition into your second half can be an incredibly confusing time. Especially if you haven’t before considered what the next few years of your life will look like.
Then all of a sudden life has changed. The kids have left home, or your relationship has ended. You might have lost a loved one or have friends who have moved away. Or you’ve lost interest at work or don’t feel like you fit there anymore. And you don’t know what you want instead.
When faced with this situation though too many of us sit waiting. Hoping and wishing for some kind of inspiration to come through like a bolt of lightening.
We think if we wait long enough it will all of a sudden become clear what our purpose is now.
For some women it can happen this way and I say good for them.
But for most of us we need to do some deeper exploration work to gain the clarity for an empowering midlife transition. It’s only through gaining this more in depth understanding of ourself that we can actually see what comes next.
I call it the next step in our purpose, whatever that is because it’s different for each woman I work with.
If you’ve been sitting, hoping, wishing and waiting for things to change or to know what you want, I want to say this.
During midlife transition nothing changes until you change
What this doesn’t mean is to change who you are, because this is your time to stand in the power of your true self. Midlife is your time to rediscover yourself without all the roles and labels. Now, that’s empowering and brings incredible clarity.
Instead it may mean you need to change how you think about ageing, how you perceive this phase of life. The habits and beliefs you have and the actions you take. Being more proactive in bringing about change that you do want or having the clarity of what to change.
Being proactive gives us control over our midlife transition
The clock doesn’t stop because you’re waiting, it keeps ticking and life won’t wait. Your environment continues to change around you too including the people in it.
In fact, it’s not a complete truth when I say nothing changes until you change, because life itself continues to change. What doesn’t change is your discontent. It will not diminish unless you become proactive. In many cases I’ve seen it get worse. This means it will come up again in your 50s, 60s, at the point of retirement and even beyond that.
When you become proactive though you take control of your midlife transition. This is because you are focusing on what you do have control and influence over.
You take your power back when you take action on what you can change
Wishing that the kids were still home or work was like it used to be. Hoping that your partner gets more adventurous, you had more friends or wishing you felt more like your old self is disempowering.
If you feel this way, I get it and I feel you. I think we’ve all been there, but it doesn’t bring the contentment or clarity we want. And by focusing on what we can’t change or on what we’ve lost we continue to feel a void. It creates a feeling of hopelessness and we’re wasting what can be the best part of life.
The only thing you ever have complete control and influence over is yourself and what you can do to bring about a change that you do want.
Consider where valuable steps might need to be taken
If you’re feeling confused right now. You know you want more from life or you want new purpose, but you don’t know what. Think about what you’ve been doing so far to gain the clarity you seek.
I see many women gathering piles of free information and doing nothing with it. Or they take snippets of this and parts of that and muddle their way through to a half baked conclusion. That’s not taking control, that’s bringing about more confusion. You’re still unsure and so you do nothing more.
The midlife transition helps you find the next steps in your purpose. It’s an empowering time when you have the right support and resources to guide you through the process. In tribal times we had our elders to guide us through, but we live in modern times now. These days real clarity comes when we invest in a process combined with the support and resources we need.
So if you’ve been a gatherer of free information. Or you’ve worked with free snippets of this or that and you still don’t have the clarity you need. Then a valuable step might be to finally make an investment in yourself and your own personal growth.
Remember that nothing changes until you change. And that change may be to stop wasting life just waiting. And to value yourself by investing in your most important next chapter.
If you’ve been trying to gain the clarity all by yourself with no support and getting nowhere, working with a good coach can be the best investment to help you through this important phase. You are very welcome to Book Your Initial Connect Call HERE to see if guidance with Deb feels right for you.