Community is often one of the things women crave for after 50.
Having a career we love or a passion then we can naturally find that sense of connection. It’s usually through the work environment or what we love.
The same as if we’re mother’s of younger children, we find that common ground with other mothers. And we tend to make often lasting friendships there too.
When midlife hits, things begin to change. And those changes don’t always affect our friends at the same time.
I’ve heard a few women talk about their good friends moving away. Or they themselves move to another area where they need to make new friends. And that’s not always easy.
Or you might have friends whose kids are younger than yours. Possibly you’ve been through divorce and your friends are all still married. Maybe, your friends are retired and you still want to have a career that you love.
This means your lives are at different stages, even if you are the same age. And so you don’t feel like you connect the way you used do. Or you don’t understand each other like you once did.
Without that sense of connection we can feel like we don’t belong anywhere and community becomes more important than it seemed to be before. This is because connection is one of the most important fundamental needs of all human beings. And when it’s missing we notice.
If that need isn’t being fulfilled through the bond of relationships, we can sometimes fulfil it unresourcefully through connecting with the problem of what’s missing. This means focusing on not having it and that can make us feel quite flat.
But when we are connected in community of likeminded women who are at similar stages we feel like we belong. This brings a sense of being part of something and we feel quality emotions instead.
So how do we go about finding community when we feel there’s a void in that area?
Give networking a go
We hear about networking a lot. It’s a great way to meet people and there are now a variety of networking communities to join. But the focus tends to be on business or career. And if that’s not the stage that you’re at then you’re less likely to meet someone who is on a similar path.
Still you can give a few groups a go and see if you gel with someone. The good thing about networking groups is you normally only buy a ticket for one event. This means you’re not committed long term if it doesn’t work for you.
Join a community that’s linked to an interest you have, or volunteer
Sometimes easier said than done. Because often when we get to this stage of life, we’re not sure what our interests are. We can also lose sight of causes that we’re passionate about too. This can be because we’ve spent our lives supporting others and putting them first. Within that we’ve lost a sense of who we are and what’s important to us.
So this may mean exploring ourselves. Maybe trying out a few new things that we think we might be interested in. It’s also very helpful to dig deep down into discovering who we are now and this gives us clues as to what our interests are.
Enrol in a group program dedicated to helping you rediscover yourself and find what you love
This is where you will find women who are likeminded and on a similar path. In that environment you are very likely to create bonds, because you are all supporting each other. You understand what each other is going through and of course you have a professional who is guiding you through a process.
More often than not a program like this is online. What can sometimes stop women trying this out is they believe they won’t find that kind of bond online. Nothing can be further from the truth. I’ve seen some incredible bonds formed between women in my HER Rediscovery Program.
Join a club that supports you through this phase of life
There are actually a number of clubs now available for the mature woman. Observing women in my own membership The Women Reinventing MidLife Club, there is a real compassion for each other. It’s a true sense of community where the women miss each other when they haven’t been able to attend for a while.
Most of them haven’t actually met each other face to face, but they feel a strong bond with other members. They support each other through challenges and celebrate each other through good times.
Start your own group
Yes it can be a fair bit of work, but it can be very rewarding too. Not just for yourself but also noticing what a difference it makes in the lives of other women too.
Find what you are passionate about or what interests you and create a group that focuses on that. And if you’re not sure yet what that is then consider joining the next group in the HER Rediscovery Program.
Opportunities to connect are all around us when we look
We never have to feel alone or like we don’t belong. Because there are opportunities all around us to join community or create one. It’s just about getting clear on what interests you and what you are passionate about. Or considering the kind of people you would like to surround yourself with.
Once you are clear on this jump on google and find what you’re looking for. Then step out of your comfort zone and give it a go.
If you are interested in seeing how a group program or a club created for women in this phase of life would benefit you, you’re in the right place. Deb has been working with women over 50 and connecting them with each other for a few years now. Book your connect call here for an obligation free conversation.