The term midlife crisis makes my blood boil, because I believe it is anything but crisis.
Yet you go on Google search and that is exactly the term you find when you type in midlife. How disempowering for all of us.
And if Google says it then it must be true. Right?
Midlife is a time in our lives where we get to step into our full power and be who we really are. It’s an empowering time when life takes on new meaning. But too often we get caught up in the opposite message that is clearly displayed in online searches.
Sometimes though it really can feel like Google has hit the nail on the head.
During this transformational period of life we can feel lost and confused. We may also notice our body and face changing and we might feel like we’re getting old.
We can lose a sense of identity, our confidence levels drop and our mojo suddenly disappears. These feelings are often exacerbated by what we read about midlife crisis and ageing.
Thank goodness that’s beginning to change but still not fast enough.
And that’s why I am writing this article. Because this empowering message, the opposite to what we often read, needs to be heard by more of us.
I want the term midlife crisis to become obsolete.
A friend of mine recently sent me a little newspaper clipping that she’d found on social media. It stated that the WHO has finally defined a new criterion that defines human age. And the age that we generally associate with midlife is not old. We knew that all along so it’s fantastic to see the WHO acknowledging this.
Here’s the new criterion that defines human age
0-17 years old – underage
18-65 years old – youth to young people
66-79 years old – middle aged
80-99 years old – elderly or senior
100+ years old – long lived elderly
Interesting huh! And definitely not what we normally find online, especially when we type in the word midlife.
The WHO’s criterion is based on research conducted for average health, quality and life expectancy.
And according to this, we’re not actually in midlife until the age of 66. Yet the feelings experienced during midlife transition, or crises as it is referred to, often come way before this.
The thing is if we don’t figure it out then, we can often continue to experience this well into our later years.
So how do we crack the code and make sure that we experience midlife transition instead of midlife crisis?
The basis of the WHO’s research actually gives us a little clue. Because our health plus our quality of life can have a huge affect on our life expectancy. And this impacts our experience of the process of ageing.
Aim for above average health
Self care has never been more important than it is in the second half of life. And true self nurturing is absolutely a holistic practice that embodies mind, body and spirit.
With above average health we definitely do not feel like we are in midlife crisis. We can handle life and challenges, no matter what is happening in our world.
By giving self care practices the time and energy required, we can easily aim for above average health. And we can often reverse ill health or heal to attain higher levels of wellness.
I’ve had some really empowering conversations with women who have recovered from debilitating illness. And sent autoimmune diseases into remission by their focus on self care.
Sustainable self nurturing practices include things like a clean, healthy, organic whole food diet. Daily exercise that is suitable for your current health. Optimistic thinking and developing a healthy mindset around ageing. Setting boundaries, having healthy behavioural habits and expressing emotions. Doing spiritual practices like yoga, meditation, TaiChi, Qigong.
Regular walks in nature and having plenty of contact with those we love is also important to our health. Staying up to date with regular health check, visits to a good doctor that thinks outside of the box. Specialists, a dentist, a naturopath are amongst the essentials.
Finding quality of life can turn midlife crisis into transition
Having quality of life begins with knowing our true self and what’s important to us. When we have this kind of clarity it enables us to build a quality life where we feel happy and fulfilled.
Midlife is a time of great change. If we have kids, it’s when they leave home or they don’t need us in the same way anymore. We may become the carer for our elderly parents or they might pass away. Our relationship changes or we might no longer enjoy the career we’ve had for most of our life.
Because of this we can often feel a bit lost or confused and that’s because we have over identified with those parts of our life.
So the first step in creating quality of life is to redefine who we are, what’s important to us now and what we are interested in or passionate about. As we get clearer on this we are able to see what we need to include in our life now to fulfill us. And a fulfilled life is a quality life.
It also helps us see what no longer serves us and what we need to clear out of our life or let go of.
This doesn’t have to be drastic and it’s more about habits that you may have developed over the years. Habits like always putting everyone and everything else first and not asking for help. These habits need to be ditched because this is your time for you.
Once you get clear on these concepts you can put steps into place to make it all happen and create the kind of quality life you deserve. And just to be clear you DO deserve a quality life.
Expect to live a healthy long life
For some reason I’ve always known I will live a long healthy life, even though my beautiful mum passed away when she was only 51.
Maybe it’s because of my mum’s early passing I started to think about life and death at a much earlier age than most. I put habits and strategies in place in my twenties to make sure I stayed well. And I told myself over and over again that I would live well into my 80’s and be healthy, fit and strong.
Because of his I have developed an expectation of living a long healthy life and I have no doubt that I will. I also feel and look young for my age.
You can change your mindset around ageing at any time in your life. And once you adapt your mindset it becomes easier to develop those healthy habits. The opposite is also true; when you change your habits your mindset becomes more easily persuaded to jump on board.
At the end of the day it’s your choice whether it’s midlife crisis or transition
We can either choose to believe Google and decide to be in midlife crisis or we can choose the more empowering path of transition.
Do the work from the inside out, care for your mind, body and spirit and define what a quality life looks like for you.
Remember that how you age is absolutely your choice.
Gaining a strong sense of self and feeling like we are thriving through this important transition in life begins with doing the internal work. Engaging a coach can support you through this process to get to know who you are now and what you want to do next. Reach out and book your no obligation free clarity call HERE
I agree with all of this. Also I experienced two so called mood swings last week. Their onset was swift and severe. I have since come down with the sniffles and cried a lot, so halved my daily to-do list. I’m already feeling far more positive. I dont think mood swing is a helpful term either. I think my body was telling me in no uncertain terms that I needed self care, after a very big 3 months. More like a Mood Message.