One of the things I love about being over 50 is the empowerment I feel in the choices I make. And yet only a few months ago I felt like I didn’t have options that presented the opportunity to choose. This is something I hadn’t felt in a long time and it was really disempowering.
It was mid 2023 and I’d experienced some abnormal medical results. The nature of those results and the specialist I saw led me to feel like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
The choice I felt I had to make to know what I was dealing with worked massively against my health and well being values. And yet, if I didn’t make the choices recommended to me there was the possibility of serious health issues.
For months I tossed around the issue, not knowing which way to go. Feeling like I had no choice if I wanted to make sure I was safe. But not wanting to make a decision that didn’t feel right for me.
Our initial perception is often not true
Fortunately, I have some really cool friends. Two in particular helped me realise where I had the absolute freedom to make a decision that felt right for me. They expanded my awareness by helping me see that my perception of the health system wasn’t completely true.
After having those conversations with my friends, I realised that I didn’t have to take the full option I was being offered. I could in fact tailor it to suit my values. This didn’t take away from the result I needed to know I was safe. It just added to it. Meaning in the worst case scenario I might need an extra procedure.
The good news is the results were the best case scenario. And because I had tailored this to suit my values, I had in fact avoided something unnecessary. This unrequired addition hadn’t aligned with my health beliefs, but was just something that was part of their usual process.
That sense of empowerment I felt making those choices was palpable. Not to mention the metaphysical healing practices that one of my friends gave me too.
I felt in control of my own life and health again
I’d spent months deliberating over a decision and had felt like I had no control. The conscious choice I was then able to make felt right for me and made sure of my own safety too.
So why am I sharing this with you now?
It’s because the empowerment of realising we have a choice doesn’t just play out in our health. There are many instances where we think we don’t have the power to choose. We feel forced to go down a path that we don’t want and lose our own power in the process.
Take our relationships for example; possibly our partner or parents need our help or want us to do something. Because of this we think we can’t start a new activity for ourselves.
Perhaps there’s a course you want to do, But you think you don’t have enough time or money and so tell yourself you can’t.
Maybe you tell yourself the timing is all wrong. There’s a possibility it is, but often there is a way and we’re unable to see from that perspective.
Realising we have a choice builds empowerment
We always have a choice, even when we think we don’t. Just reminding ourselves that we are free to make a different decision, brings our power back.
For example; if your parent needs more care and there’s something you’d really love to do for yourself. Of course, if one of your values is family or support then you are probably going to be drawn to caring for your parent. But telling yourself “I can’t do what I want” is really disempowering.
Change your language to bring your power back
Our language has the power to weigh us down or lift us up. It’s all the the words we’re using. Phrases like “I can’t”, “I should”, “I have to” have a lot of pressure and restriction associated with them. They take away our feeling that we are free to choose.
When you change those words to “I choose to” it brings back that sense of empowerment.
Changing our perception shows us we have more than one choice
We all like to have options don’t we, but we are usually wired to think a certain way. This is the result of life experiences we’ve had and the stories we’ve heard in the past. But there is always another way of looking at something.
When we open our mind to other possibilities, the window to other options can be really empowering. This helps us see that we have more than once choice.
You can create this awareness by doing research and speaking to other people who have experienced similar. Reading personal development books, doing courses. Listening to podcasts and watching YouTube channels.
Remember that not everyone is accustomed to telling all without prompting. So to gain benefit from other people’s experiences, you need to ask questions. Even from your friends or family. It’s important to realise that they have friends too. Bear in mind though that the intent is to gather information not be swayed by other people’s experiences. You’re just collecting options.
Your sense of empowerment comes back when you make a conscious choice
After finding numerous options if you still make the same choice that you thought you had to make, that’s fine. The difference is knowing that you no longer “have to”and that’s a conscious decision. The choice is yours and realising that brings back your own sense of empowerment.
Sometimes our usual way of thinking can be quite engrained and that can make it difficult to become aware of other options. Or to even be inclined to change our perception even though we know it’s empowering. This can be exacerbated even more by the people closest to us if they see things in the same way and have no desire to change. Working with a good coach can help you gain the empowerment by seeing things in a different light. To see if coaching with Deb is the best option for you, Book Your Initial Complimentary Connect Call HERE